“There were never any good old days, they are today, they are tomorrow”.
How many miles a day did you walk barefoot to school? Didn’t we suffer hardship? A youth filled with Catholic run schools, constant fear, parents who knew all about discipline, and exercised it freely. Yet, somehow, we believe these to have been the “good old days”, and kids now don’t know how good they have it.
Let’s rethink this. Our kids are living in a completely different era. The times, they are changing, and by the time you’ve finished singing that little number to yourself, time has changed again. Everything must change, and our society has changed in the last 20 years more than any other time in history.
No, our kids, don’t walk barefoot to school, and odds are that you didn’t either. The priests and nuns no longer run most schools, with religion being optional in most. The teachers are afraid to discipline the kids for fear of reprimand by the parents. Our little angels, how dare the teacher tell them to be quiet!
The truth is that we can barely fathom the pressures amongst kids these days. When you went to school, whether you are a man or woman, were you bullied for not wearing the latest fashion trends? Were you subject to bullying by social media? Did people laugh at you because you had a homemade Halloween costume as opposed to one bought in a shop? I’m fairly sure you weren’t. A black sack and rouge on the cheeks was enough for us, now it’s a competition.
We have to look at things in perspective. We cannot view our children’s behaviour in comparison with our own. They are developing their own persona, separate to the one they reflect when they are with their family. This is happening at a younger and younger age. Recently, my 7 year old was talking with her friend about who had crushes on who. Now, while I get that this is something you might have discussed as a child, I don’t think you would have done it at the age of 7, or even understood what exactly a crush was. However, is it the child that has decided to discuss this, or is it the pressure that modern society has put upon them?
Then to take a look at social media. Children are joining the likes of Facebook, Twitter, and SnapChat earlier and earlier. Do we really know as parents, what they are doing, or who they are talking to? Suicide has increased several fold since the introduction of these inventions. With SnapChat in particular, bullying is rampant, and one child can continue to bully another, with no evidence left behind, or proof that it was happening. Were you subject to this as a child? Didn’t think so.
Parenting has also become something quite different. Nowadays, the child must learn and adopt skills themselves, as Mammy or Daddy are too busy on their phone checking out if other people’s lives are better than theirs or not, using another ugly side of social media.
After some consideration, I’ve decided to question my own 7 year old daughter about some issues that kids are facing today. I will question her on some topics, and see what she has to say about it:
Me: “Do you ever see bullying at your school?”
Daughter: “I kind of see it happening, they have clubs, and you have to be a member for anyone to talk to you”
Me: “Do the teachers ever shout at you?”
Daughter: “No, never”
Me: “What would your best friend do if you told her you didn’t like her favourite television show?”
Daughter: “They would say we are not friends anymore”
Me: “Grandad said he walked miles to school barefoot, what do you think about that?”
Daughter: “I don’t think it’s true, like, he would have the marks on his feet to prove it”
Me: “Do you know what Facebook is? Do you know why people use it?”
Daughter: “Yes, I see you and Mammy using it. People see each other’s pictures, and wish that they could be them”.
Me: “What do you think a crush is?”
Daughter: “When someone loves another person”.
Me: “Lastly, if it’s Halloween, would you wear a black sack?”
Daughter: “They would say that you look so silly, and they would laugh at that person”.
In summary, what was expected by society on us when we were growing up has completely changed. Therefore, we cannot expect that our children would adopt the same mentality we had. While it’s important that they show respect and compassion, we must realise that we couldn’t even fathom what kind of pressure they are up against every day.
Our childhood wasn’t better or worse, they aren’t comparable in two very different societies. We must then be the ones to adapt to the modern age, and see what it is that has changed, and become more aware of what faces our little ones when we drop them at the school gate.
Aaron O’Neill